Dancing, synesthesia, and education

I was listening to a groovy playlist last night preparing myself for slumber.  It was a bit upbeat for a nighttime playlist, but fortuitously that got me dancing and dancing got me thinking.  Sometimes I feel that dancing is like playing a musical instrument with thousands of control surfaces, each of my movements corresponding to a pattern of notes in the music, or in a musical accompaniment that I am writing in my head. What if a sensor, aka video camera, captured that movement and turned it into song?  By feeding back the dance moves as music realtime to the user, this could be the basis of a new dance training software. The student could hear in real time the differences between her goal "dance music" and that which her body produced.

More generally, how can we introduce more synesthesia into learning environments?  My mind drifts back to elementary school science classes, with wooden molecular models you could interact with through touch and sight, to chemistry experiments which heated, cooled, changed state, changed color, etc., according to what ingredients were mixed in what proportions.  Why were music class and physical education and the cerebral classes all taught separately?  Why were we taught to draw such large distinctions in the functions of our minds?

I focus on the music I'm listening to right now: Infected Mushroom.  This psytrance music has focused my mind and makes the letters I am typing dance off my fingertips and onto the screen.  I believe that this music has helped increase the scores in the mind-training games I've renewed interest in this last week at lumosity.com.  That's not synesthesia, but rather the correct sensory environment for learning/productivity.

Dreams

Worry about the future is really worry about the continuation and karma of past.  Let go of the past and live the future.  Buddhists call this "be here now," or "empty the mind."  Christians speak of "forgiveness."  In any case, the past is gone and we recreate ourselves in every moment by the substance of our beliefs and dreams. 

Write the future of your dreams. Malaise is the dissatisfaction of a dreamless life. With dreams comes passion and with passion all of life follows. Passion attracts passion, happiness, and excellence. 

Worry about the future without dreams makes me concentrate on minutia as that is all that is in my psyche. I care about what is in front of me, optimizing how I spend my time and money--within my current paradigm!  This is nearsighted. It lends me to spend as much effort saving a few bucks as several hundred or spend hours speeding up a 2 second operation. Seeing the big picture means BELIEVING in the big picture. 

Get ready to dream, and to dream big. 

Happy

Visualization and optimism together form the ideal environment for learning. Always hold in mind a clear vision of the divine within, presently, so that you are most capable to manifest the correct path. These visualizations aren't movies, nor roles to be played, but an intimate reality viewed from all angles and timescales simultaneously.

Ego

Self and not-self are but labels.  The key to transcending one's ego isn't to merely see others' needs as one's own, but to transcend the belief in self and in ownership.  "My" body is not my own.  It is a collection of molecules that is currently bound to the mind which I call "me," but it is not the same collection of molecules which composed me seven years ago, and not the same set as I will carry around with me in another several years.  I don't own this body, I merely rent it.  I don't cry over the molecules of skin I shed, nor the water I exhale and perspire, or over the waste I excrete.  I don't even cry over the tears I shed.  So this is a body, a body I steward, a body I love, a body that provides me with ambulation and sensation, but it is just a body, like many others.

Self and not-self label more than physical flesh.  I think of "my" thoughts as mine, and "my" emotions as mine, and "my" personality as mine.  But thoughts just pass through my head, sometimes seconds apart.  Emotions just pass through my endocrine system and are flushed away minutes or hours later.  And the personality that I call my own is just one I choose to wear more often.  If I choose to act like someone else, we call that acting.  But if I choose to behave like another person indefinitely, we say that I become that person.

Selfish and non-selfish are labels that have no meaning without ego.  Without ego, there are only selfish deeds, for there is no boundary between self and not-self; there is only self, and there is only the greatest good for self.  There is only wisdom and foolishness, as measured by the ability to see what is, and to make the smallest change to create what has-been-imagined-and-as-yet-unseen.  Wisdom is learned through experience, through trials and errors, and in particular, in the shared awareness of the greater self.  Wisdom of the individual only, rooting the mind in what is directly tangible, to the pains and wants of the flesh, leads only to selfish knowledge.  Awareness of the greater world, its pains and wants, its karmic path of unfolding, and its intimate, myriad, and fractal connections leads to the ego-less selfishness I call true wisdom.

Optimism

Reading my book on optimism (Beyond Positive Thinking), I began to see imaginary ships floating through my vision that, in my video game (Pew Pew 2), I would need to track and destroy.  Playing the game necessitates constantly seeing these threats and being aware of them, even in peripheral vision where a clear view cannot be obtained.  Thus, the game trains my mind to associate this pattern of enemy flying ships to whatever it sees, including the text of my book.  In the same way, I can train my mind to see the patterns of happiness, optimism, abundance, and you-have-it, by constant visualization practice and by feeling emotional connection to the desired context/outcome/situation.  In this way, my mind will naturally see the positive patterns in the world and choose to act on those instead of the ones which my environment and society have passively conditioned me.  This is the strategy for "manifesting" a certain reality as suggested by the book on optimism.

Transforming neuroticism into optimism

Awakening from neuroticism into optimism is akin to riding a plane up and through a thick, grey storm and, upon passing through the worst of it, entering the sunny, tranquil air above the storm, enjoying both the sun above and the newfound perspective of the storm below.  Similarly, it is like being on the ground during the storm and shifting the mind away from the cold muck, to the sounds of creatures stirring, to the prospect of new, green growths, to the free street cleaning gifted from above, for the opportunity to splash, to change clothes, to enjoy time indoors.  In short, perspective lets us rise above our problems and see the truth that life only presents challenges and lessons.

Mind-body connection

Talking to oneself is something people do to hear out their own ideas.  Most people learn to internalize this dialogue and shield its message from those watching.  But in so doing, they short-circuit a channel in the brain for connecting emotionally to your own ideas.  The enthusiasm of body, face, and mannerisms is self-contagious.  When we actually talk to ourselves in excited tone and cannot contain the physical energy boiling within, we allow our bodies to tune in to our emotional state, fueling a positive-feedback loop that again encourages the message's emotional content. When we only speak with internal dialogue, this channel cannot be used, and the message is stripped somewhat of its emotional content.

I believe people should feel comfortable expressing their energies physically.  We are taught from a young age to sit still and absorb information like a sponge, but that's not how our bodies are designed.  If someone is telling you a complicated mathematical concept, feel free to visualize it with your hands.  If someone is excitedly telling you about their day, reflect their enthusiasm back with some fist pumps into the air.  Walk around the house while on the phone.  Fidget in your seat at a lecture, or just get up and do something in the back of the room.  Share your whole self with others during conversation, not just your eyes, ears, and mouth.

Awareness vs Fear

‎"Beware of the bear" -- sign at Yellowstone park. What did that used to mean? It used to mean be *aware* of the bear. Now it means to be scared. What are we scared of now that needs more awareness? Bears? Terrorism? Our own inner demons? Let's not be afraid of the dark, but instead adjust our eyes to the light and look on in wonder and increased understanding.

Musical Range

Among the qualifications a musician carries is her musical range.  This already has several meanings, and I wish to generalize from there.  For a singer, musical range will include which part she sings, say, soprano or alto, but more specifically, what the notes she can hit (at all) and the notes she can hit comfortably, say, C4 to A5.  A musical range for a singer or instrumentalist will also include the musical styles she is comfortable in--jazz, rock, ska, whatever.  Moving away from the purest definitions, the musician's range will also include the sorts of venues she is adept at--big crowds, house parties, Southern locales, etc.  And moving away again, this sort of definition applies to contract workers in every field: where can their skills be applied?  What is the range of those skills?  Professionals have to have specific knowledge and depth in specialties, but also have a range of capabilities.  And moving away again, this is true for all skills, professional or otherwise.  An athletics trainer can know a breadth of training modalities, or understand nutrition, or physiology and injury recuperation, etc.  And coming full circle, an amateur musician needs to think about her range and interests to match with the community of musicians she wants as band-mates and potential listeners.

Shit has consequences

I just finished rubbing some arnica on my back to relieve some moderate pain I've been feeling on and off for over half a year.  This back pain, in addition to being painful, which nobody likes, has affected my life negatively in other ways.  It has sometimes taken me away from acrobatics.  It has made me not want to be so active, a part of my life I have come to truly revel in.

I've tried various things to solve this mystery: massage, drinking more water, sleeping with or without my mattress topper or with different pillow configurations.  And I just finished rubbing arnica on my back after months of back pain.

But this is Karma, world.  I *deserve* this back pain.  Does that make me religious?  Am I being too hard on myself?  I don't think so.  I deserve this back pain because karma means consequence and I have been lying down on the couch watching television since the two graced my living room (on and off, sheesh).  And I've been compromising my back at an angle while I do it.

It seemed like a small thing at the time, of no consequence.  But today while leaning over and watching television with an achy back, I decided I'd try to make myself more comfortable, and I removed a cushion from behind me.  My body shifted, relieved.  My mind reeled, informed.

Shit has consequences.  May my eyes always be open to the karma which surrounds us.  May my back heal in the coming weeks and from better care and maybe chiropractory (because shit doesn't just happen on it's own; I make this happen).  And may I find better things to do than punish my mind and body in front of a flat screen of electrons.

Teacher's mantra

I am but a guide.  I can hold your hand when the way is dangerous, for I have equipped myself to deal with the dangers.  I can tell you of the many pitfalls on the road to learning, for I have fallen in so many pits.  I can show you how to best use your time in practice, for I have spent much time in practice.  I vow to let you take your own journey into learning, for I am but a guide; I have not the answers, but only tools and knowledge to speed your journey.  I will humble myself to feed your natural beginner's mind, which has something to teach us all.  Thank you, oh wise one, for letting me share and guide your journey.

Responsibility

Sending a text message is a quick way of delivering a small bit of information or making a request.  When a request is made, a problem is described and responsibility for that problem is being discussed.  For example, consider the couple Amy and George discussing picking up their son, Johnny from school. Amy texts George, "I can't make it, so will you please remember to get Johnny from school today."  In this case, the problem being discussed is Amy can no longer make the pick-up.  The responsibility seems to shift to George.

But the shift isn't exactly automatic.  George could easily reply with "Got it honey, I'll get them home by 4:00."  But George could also just not respond.  George could think, hypothetically, "I'm not sure I can get off work by then, maybe I should see if Henry's parents can get him."  George could choose to work on that issue without telling Amy.  In this case, since no one has promised to pick up Johnny, both parents are now quasi-responsible.  

The reality of the situation is that quasi-responsible is tantamount to responsible.  Because the communication is incomplete, both Amy and George are now responsible for finding a pick-up solution.

In general, if a boss gives an employee a problem to solve, that problem is made into two problems unless the employee can actually assume responsibility for the problem.  "I heard you. I'm on it. You can trust me on this."  It's not efficient for the boss to still be responsible and have to look over the employee's shoulder all the time.

When receiving a text message, answer it immediately.  If you choose to delay answering, instead of solving a problem, you now have two problems: both of you are now responsible.

Macroeconomics

I think I finally get macroeconomics and what causes recessions (at least some inkling).  Recessions exist because of resource pressures.  Take a decrease in the supply of oil, for instance.  This leads to more competition over those resources by businesses which use oil.  These businesses must pass down their costs by downsizing employees or by being pushed out of business (or raising prices, which pushes the economic problem to consumers, just as oil price increases affected this business in question).  In either case, some of the value of the work done by that company is no longer a resource in that economy.  This lowered value is passed down by the employees not spending money as before.  These positive-feedback forces are somewhat mitigated by savings (personal and otherwise) and loans.  But savings and loans are mitigated by the chance of default which can be a hindrance if banks are overconfident (in the safety of their loans).  This, because it is so interconnected, is what happens when banks collapse.

23

I don't believe we should let our lives be ruled by superstition and numerology.  But I do think it's kinda fun to indulge in a little healthy pattern-finding now and again.  I have found the number 23 appear time and again in my life, so now I guess I look for it; I call it my favorite number.

I think the romance with 23 began with a basketball player that shared my name, sort of.  Michael Jordan is the name I quoted when people couldn't pick up my first name the first time.  "You know, Jordan like Michael Jordan."  Jordan wore 23 on his jersey.

When I moved to Seattle, I was turning 23 and looking for a car.  I ended up getting an Audi and the guy who sold it to me pointed out, as perhaps I wouldn't have noticed, that the license plate was 230-MSM and I was turning 23 and working for MS (Microsoft).  So that was easy to remember.

My last house was on 23rd Avenue and now I live in apartment #23.

My next car ended up with the license plate of 460... which is twice 230.  My height in inches is 69, which is three 23's, as is my mass, 69kg.

And that's it so far until the next coincidence finds me.

Religion as an index into psyche

The stories of the bible are mnemonic, a memory device, a framework for which we can apply an understanding of our personal lives.  In acrobatics a few weeks ago, Athena said that she can relate many of her experiences back to something she learned or understands through acrobatics.  And in that way she can communicate to acrobats about her experience using a shared understanding.  In terms of religion and the associated shared mythology and culture, they can relate emotional, spiritual, physical, and social problems and solutions back to a shared understanding.  So that when someone says, "I was hurt when you did this that way," he can follow with, "I felt like Cain when he went over to blah and this dude did this thing to him."   [My Bible knowledge is somewhat limited]  That shared understanding allows everyone to be on the same framework.  It's a shortcut, an index into the psyche.

Breath and visualization meditation

Incense burns; a timer is set.  I settle into my seated position and concentrate on the form of my body.  Satisfied there, I move to my meditation: I place over my eyes a blindfold and call to my mind a white light.  The light starts dim and reddish in my vision, but as I concentrate on it more I can see it brighten and whiten.  I start to have the light follow my breath: starting at the base of my breath and at my root Chakra, it climbs slowly with my inhale up to my throat and mouth.  There it pauses with a stillness in my breath, then returns slowly on my exhale back to my root.  I continue this meditation, just trying to find steadiness and focus on the light and breath.  I add in a root lock at the bottom and a throat lock at the top.  The ball of light cannot be contained.  Its energies want to connect outward.  I see tendrils of light connect the ball to the surface of my skin--a turmoil of lightning trying to equilibrate energies.  I can hear the crackling of the energy.

I let the energy ball sit in my throat a little longer.  I open my mouth to give it more space.  Out of my mouth comes a series of three Oms, slow, steady, firm.  I inhale again and the energy courses up to my crown feeling powerful, but light.  Ding goes my timer.

I smile with my whole being

My mouth smiles.

I feel the corners of my mouth turn up.

I feel my cheeks, my forehead, my nostrils, and my face relax.

My chest smiles.

I feel my chest expand and point skyward.

I feel my shoulders and back relax, my abs swaddle me supported.

My arms and legs smile.

I feel the tone of muscle in my appendages.

Not too much to be tiring.  Strong, controlled, relaxed.

I want to believe

Hrm, this gem was sitting next to the previous.

I just read a segment in a social psych book about the credibility actors get from the roles they play.  For instance, an actor who portrays a doctor on TV may advertise for a drug.

This reminded me of a short-lived crush I had on Jodie Foster after watching the movie, "Contact."  She played a beautiful, intelligent, and very rational scientists.  I was drawn to her by her looks and passion about science and determination to promote it despite political obstacles.

I guess I knew, deep down, that she was merely acting the part, but I wanted her to be that person.  I rationalized that if she could act the part she must at least be somewhat capable of performing such a role in the real world.

But this discussion is merely prelude for my main point, which is I want to believe!  It feels damn good to feel strongly about something, perhaps doubly good if that something is somewhat irrational!

I want to believe in a lot of things.  I want to believe people are generally good-natured.  I want to believe I'll see world peace and en end to hunger.  I want my ideals to become a reality enjoyed by all.

But most of all, I want to believe in my own personal happiness.  Happiness isn't really something you work for, it isn't something you save up for.  It's something you believe in.

Happy radio time

Today's blog post was dug up from some papers I must have written myself many years ago.  Ado begone.


Turn on the radio.  If you aren't happy, turn it up.  I guarantee it, there's some happiness there, if only you look for it.

Techno sucks but it's got a beat.  Tune into the beat.  You don't hear the melody, you feel it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that beliefs can be irrational.  Happiness is irrational.  Think about your last euphoria.  You remember what you were doing; you know what made you happy.  But does it make sense?   Did getting that kiss from that special someone make you feel happy?  Why?  You've been kissed before.  You'll probably move on.  You were happy because you wanted to, world be damned.

Make now one of those times.  I'm happy.  I want to believe.

Ashley

Names are like clothing: they can decorate a body or they can say something about somebody.  The thing is, names and clothing will always be treated in both ways whether we like it or not.  I might be wearing black because it makes me look slimmer, but that guy who glanced at me labeled me Emo or Goth in a split second.

I like my middle name, Ashley, on both these levels.  I find that "Ashley Jordan" has a beautiful ring to it (as does Jordan Ashley, perhaps due to the trochee effect), but also because it sounds vaguely pornstar: roguish, manly, a little bit unusual.  This is also why I like what it says about me.  It's masculine (Gone With the Wind, Army of Darkness), unusual (I am hoping to remain the only male Ashley any of my friends know about, at least for a while), it is soft and feminine (the value of which has really blossomed in me as those who know me can attest to), and it is goofy and boisterous (I think the name matches my stripy pants and lion-tamer jacket better than my original).

I know I will be judged, like it or not, on not just who I am and how I present myself, but the clothes I wear and the name I wear.  Thus I have made a conscious choice to project more of who I am through my name, one my parents gave me, merely permuted around, one I hid for many years in shame, one I now proudly call Me.