Ashley

Names are like clothing: they can decorate a body or they can say something about somebody.  The thing is, names and clothing will always be treated in both ways whether we like it or not.  I might be wearing black because it makes me look slimmer, but that guy who glanced at me labeled me Emo or Goth in a split second.

I like my middle name, Ashley, on both these levels.  I find that "Ashley Jordan" has a beautiful ring to it (as does Jordan Ashley, perhaps due to the trochee effect), but also because it sounds vaguely pornstar: roguish, manly, a little bit unusual.  This is also why I like what it says about me.  It's masculine (Gone With the Wind, Army of Darkness), unusual (I am hoping to remain the only male Ashley any of my friends know about, at least for a while), it is soft and feminine (the value of which has really blossomed in me as those who know me can attest to), and it is goofy and boisterous (I think the name matches my stripy pants and lion-tamer jacket better than my original).

I know I will be judged, like it or not, on not just who I am and how I present myself, but the clothes I wear and the name I wear.  Thus I have made a conscious choice to project more of who I am through my name, one my parents gave me, merely permuted around, one I hid for many years in shame, one I now proudly call Me.