Driving to work, I thought about being in others' heads, about the models that we ascribe to their thought processes. We are in control of those models, and we can choose whether to give people the benefit of the doubt and assuming they have good reasons for their behaviors, or to blame them for being deficient or malicious. In the same regard, we are responsible for our own happiness: it is in how we view the world. It was at about this point in my commute that I noticed the sun come out. "I made the sun come out," I thought to myself. The beauty in the world is mine to see and enjoy. This brought tears to my eyes. I stayed with this emotion and breathed it in, letting out raspy breaths. It occurred to me that I'd stumbled on something profound, the secret to happiness, and I'd had it all along. I also reveled in my calm detachment from my own feelings. I wasn't trying to cry; I wasn't trying not to cry. I was fully in an honest, powerful emotion. That realization further inspired my happiness and the flow of my tears. I smiled a great big smile the rest of the way to work and dried my tears before I left the car.
I thought about my future. I thought about Jenny. I thought about work and housing. All looked good.
I think the moment I realized that my happiness was completely in my control may have been the happiest moment in my life to date.
